Relationship Matters Chat
June 5, 2008
FIVE POINTS TO HELP YOU COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY
Hosted by Len Chatman who is a marriage enrichment specialist, minister, and retired Naval Administrator. His wife, Cheryl, has MS.
The 1st Thursdays, 7 p.m. and 3rd Thursdays at 8 p.m.in the Relationship Matters chat room
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:02:30 PM)
Tonight Len Chatman will begin a series of chats about relationships. Len is a marriage enrichment specialist, minister, and retired Naval Administrator.
His wife, Cheryl, has MS and is legally blind. She has a wonderful attitude about life and volunteers full-time in the MS community.
Cheryl is sitting with Len right now
Because of Len and Cheryl’s life together, they have been married 20 years, Len has a passion for Care Partners and wants to reach as many people as he can so couples can see MS is an obstacle that can be overcome. He is a national speaker for the NMSS and MS Foundation, among other things.
Tonight Len will be talking about Communications Tips. Please join me in welcoming Len to this new chat.
Len...you have the floor.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:03:55 PM)
HELLO ALL. THIS IS A TRULY EXCITING TIME.
CHERYL IS HERE WITH ME NOW.
SHE SAYS HELLO TO ALL.
WE HAVE A BOUT 50 MINUTES OR SO TO TALK ABOUT THE SUBJECT
TONIGHT. SO LETS GET STARTED ON HOW I LIKE US TO PROGRESS
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:05:01 PM)
Thank you for joining us today for the first in what promises to be a hour of power. This web chat will be hosted here on MSWorld the FIRST and THIRD Thursday of the month. On the FIRST Thursday we will meet at 7Pm EST On the THIRD Thursday we will meet at 8pm EST
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:05:38 PM)
I CAN TAKE PERSONAL ?? WHILE I CHAT ABOUT TONIGHT’S TOPICS ALSO.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:06:31 PM)
my first ?? tonight is How effective do you think you communicate?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:06:41 PM)
any takers?
Chatter 1(Jun 5, 2008 6:06:48 PM)
POORLY :)
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:06:52 PM)
I USE THE INTERNET AND PHONE
Chatter 3 (Jun 5, 2008 6:06:54 PM)
I THINK MY HUSBAND AND I BOTH COMMUNICATE WELL
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:06:55 PM)
Sure, I'm game. I think I'm good, Len
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:06:55 PM)
2ND THAT
Chatter 5(Jun 5, 2008 6:07:07 PM)
SAME AS Chatter 2, MINUS THE PHONE
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:09 PM)
POORLY
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:10 PM)
we think pretty good but maybe not as good as we could
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:13 PM)
I AM TRYING TO BE AN UNDERSTANDING FRIEND
THAT CAN BE DIFFICULT AT TIMES
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:22 PM)
let's do that on scale of 1 to 5. 1 needing lots of work 5 being fantastic communicate.
Chatter 3 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:31 PM)
I SAY 4
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:34 PM)
We say 4
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:34 PM)
ONE
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:35 PM)
4 here
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:38 PM)
ME TOO CHATTER 2
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:41 PM)
4 HERE
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:42 PM)
2
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:45 PM)
I THINK I'M DOING 5 FANTASTIC..BUT OTHERS THINK I'M DOING HORRIBLE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:07:53 PM)
so it seems that you all are pretty good communicators.
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:08:05 PM)
UM, NO.......
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:08:17 PM)
I NEVER HAVE TROUBLE COMMUNICATING WITH REGULAR FRIENDS - SPECIAL FRIENDS CAN BE A CHALLENGE
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:08:31 PM)
IT IS HARD FOR ME TO STAY IN SYNC SOMETIMES
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:08:44 PM)
communicating with friends is NEVER HARD. ONLY WHEN WE TALK WITH OUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS.
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:08:56 PM)
MY BF ONLY ACKNOWLEDGES MY MS WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:08:59 PM)
GOOD WAY TO PUT IT LEN
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:09:26 PM)
For tonight I want to offer you FIVE things you can do to improve your
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:10:04 PM)
NUMBER 1. LETS TALK ABOUT THIS TOGETHER...Be available for each other. (Fully Present) We live in very busy times. With numerous priorities demanding our attention we have to make a concerted effort to connect with our significant other and families.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:10:54 PM)
YOUR THOUGHTS...
Chatter 3 (Jun 5, 2008 6:11:10 PM)
I THINK THAT IS HARD TO DO ALL THE TIME
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:11:12 PM)
GOOD POINTS
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:11:14 PM)
TIME IS VALUABLE BUT SO ARE SPECIAL FRIENDS - IMPORTANT TO MAKE TIME
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:11:42 PM)
THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS THAT TRYING IS WHAT WE MUST DO.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:12:00 PM)
WE'LL TALK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS IN THE LAST POINT.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:12:10 PM)
TRUE NOTHING IS EASY ; EFFORT COUNT S
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:12:23 PM)
ANY OTHER THOUGHTS ON POINT NUMBER 1 ?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:12:51 PM)
NUMBER 2. Let each other know you’re listening. Listening (ACTIVE) is the cornerstone of effective communicating. Listening requires us to be both passive and active. We are passive in that we are attempting understand what we hear. Our listening is active because we are participating in the conversation.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:13:24 PM)
AGREE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:13:31 PM)
FOLKS THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT WHEN WE ARE IN A DIFFICULT CONVERSATION.
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:13:50 PM)
Good points. Difference between listening and hearing.
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:13:59 PM)
MY EX USE TO LISTEN, BUT HE NEVER UNDERSTOOD. SOMETIMES I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HIM EITHER. EMPATHY IS HARD FROM TWO POINTS OF VIEW.
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:01 PM)
WELL SAID
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:03 PM)
very good point!
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:06 PM)
I TEACH A CONCEPT CALLED THE SPEAKER LISTENING TECHNIQU. I WANT EACH OF YOU TO HAVE IT. IF YOU WANT SEND ME A EMAIL TO: info@alwms.org
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:09 PM)
ATTEMPTING TO UNDERSTAND IS PASSIVE?
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:10 PM)
LISTENING WITHOUT COMMENTING OR TRYING TO FIX THE PROBLEM IS A COMMON "GUY" PROBLEM. WE ARE "FIXERS"
Chatter 2(Jun 5, 2008 6:14:27 PM)
WILL DO
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:37 PM)
THATS CORRECT CHATTER 8, WE ARE FIXERS, BUT OFTEN OUR PARTNERS ONLY WEANT US TO LISTEN.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:41 PM)
RIGHT CHATTER 8
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:14:47 PM)
I HAVE LEARNED THAT - IT IS HARD TO DO
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:15:03 PM)
THAT'S RIGHT LEN.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:15:06 PM)
IT TAKES TIME, AND SURELY THE OLDER WE GET THE MORE WE HOPE TO LEARN.
Chatter 5(Jun 5, 2008 6:15:09 PM)
I'VE HAD PARTNERS WHO GOT MAD BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T FIX WHAT I DIDN'T NEED FIXED. I JUST NEEDED A LISTENER SOMETIMES.
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:15:14 PM)
IT IS HARD FOR GUYS TO GRASP OUR NEED TO TALK IT OUT
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:15:26 PM)
RIGHT ON LIZ
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:15:37 PM)
MY FATHER IN LAW IS HELPING ME MORE WITH THIS CONCEPT.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:15:57 PM)
I MAY DO THIS FOR A LIVING BUT I STILL HAVE AREAS OF IMPROVEMENT.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:16:07 PM)
OK READY FOR NUMBER THREE???
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:16:08 PM)
ALWAYS LEARNING IS GOOD
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:16:09 PM)
DON'T WE ALL
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:16:15 PM)
I'VE ALWAYS LISTENED BEFORE ACTION PEOPLE CALL ME SLOW
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:16:27 PM)
I AM TAKING NOTES
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:16:41 PM)
I'M NEW TO THIS AND AM ALONE, ALONE, ALONE, BUT WANT TO BE MOST OF THE TIME
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:16:59 PM)
NUMBER 3 Respond in a way your partner will hear you. It’s a lot like listening with the exception, if you do not understand FULLY what being communicated, this is a good time to respond by asking questions, head nods, eye contact, etc.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:17:23 PM)
EVERYONE THIS COULD BE THE HARDEST OF ALL THE POINTS!!!
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:17:27 PM)
AND NOT LOOKING AT THE TV?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:17:38 PM)
YOU GOT IT.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:17:46 PM)
HARDER TO DO ON THE PHONE OR INTERNET
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:17:57 PM)
the candle works good Len
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:18:05 PM)
IS THIS WHERE YOU RE-STATE THE MESSAGE FOR CLARIFICATION?
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:18:08 PM)
THIS CHAT LINE HAS REALLY HELPED ME COMMUNICATE WITH REAL PEOPLE, WONDERFUL PEOPLE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:18:16 PM)
THATS PART OF THE SPEAKER LISTENER TECHIQUE.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:18:26 PM)
ME TOO CHATTER 7
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:18:34 PM)
WE BOTH CANNOT TALK AT THE SAME TIME, UNLESS WE;RE DOING A CHAT LIKE THIS ONE.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:19:28 PM)
how many of you have attending my in person workshop?
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:19:43 PM)
WISH I COULD DO THE IN PERSON ONE
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:19:43 PM)
we have
Sparky10 (Jun 5, 2008 6:19:48 PM)
IT IS OPEN TO EVERYONE!
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:19:59 PM)
yes the workshop is open to all
Chatter 9 (Jun 5, 2008 6:19:59 PM)
is (this chat) safe ?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:20:11 PM)
yes it is safe and completely confidential
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:20:22 PM)
the programs are normally sponsored by the NMSS
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:21:02 PM)
FLORIDA NEVER DOES ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY AREA
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:21:12 PM)
MSWORLD IS ALSO SPONSORED BY THE NMSS - TEAMWORK ALL AROUND
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:21:15 PM)
if you want to know the workshop schedule send me a email.. subject line workshop
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:21:44 PM)
HAVE WE EXAUSTED THE THIRD POINT?
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:22:18 PM)
isn’t your schedule on your website?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:22:33 PM)
YES, WILL BE UPDATED ON FRIDAY.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:23:13 PM)
OK NOW TO POINT NUMBER 4. Remember each of you have needs (Make Their Day) Remember the author Dr. John Gray? Men are from Mars women are from Venus. How true. Even then, are needs can change from day to day depending on numerous life events, from the children, work, our health, MS, etc.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:23:24 PM)
LET'S CHAT...
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:23:43 PM)
TRUE LEN : STYLE DIFFERS
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:24:23 PM)
EXACTLY. STYLE DIFFERS, AND WE MUST LEARN TO COMMUNICATE IN EACH OTHERS LOVE LANGUAGE.
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:24:37 PM)
AND AS WE AGE, NEEDS CHANGE AND WE CHANGE, TOO.
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:24:42 PM)
WHAT IS THAT?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:24:48 PM)
ARE YOU ALL FAMILIAR WITH MY LOVE LANGUAGE EXERCISES?
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:24:56 PM)
NO LEN
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:02 PM)
NO LEN
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:02 PM)
yes
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:04 PM)
NO
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:09 PM)
NO
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:09 PM)
WE HAVE LOTS OF WORK TO DO WITH THESE CHATS.
Chatter 2(Jun 5, 2008 6:25:11 PM)
NO
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:15 PM)
LOL LEN
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:18 PM)
WE SURE DO LEN
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:23 PM)
THOSE WHO ATTEND THE IN PERSON WS GET ALL THIS GOOD STUFF.
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:25 PM)
IT'S EASY TO MAKE A PERSON UNDERSTAND NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT WITH MS, IT'S VERY HARD TO GET A SIGNIFIGANT OTHER TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON, OR WHY YOU SAY, CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THEM. IT'S HARD IN MY MIND TO EVEN BEGIN TO BRING SOMEONE NEW INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH SO MANY ISSUES.
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:25:58 PM)
I DON'T KNOW EVEN HOW TO BEGIN, OR EXPLAIN MYSELF TO SOMEONE.
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:26:02 PM)
THAT IS SO TRUE,NOIDY
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:26:03 PM)
LATER IN THE CHATS WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT EXACT SUBJECT.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:26:21 PM)
TRY IT WHEN BOTH HAVE MS :)
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:26:42 PM)
I WANT TO OFFER YOU ALL SOME OF MY PROGRAM WORKSHEETS, WE'LL DO THIS FROM TIME TO TIME.
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:26:47 PM)
THAT MIGHT BE EASIER
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:26:54 PM)
LEN, YOU SAY "CHATS" - THIS IS A SERIES, CORRECT?
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:26:57 PM)
I WAS THINKING THE SAME NURSE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:27:03 PM)
TONIGHT I WILL GIVE YOU THE LOVE LANGUAGE WORKSHEETS. THAT'LL BE YOUR HOMEWORK.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:27:18 PM)
YES IT IS A SERIES.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:27:31 PM)
This web chat will be hosted here on MSWorld the FIRST and THIRD Thursday of the month. On the FIRST Thursday we will meet at 7Pm EST On the THIRD Thursday we will meet at 8pm EST
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:27:35 PM)
THANKS
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:28:47 PM)
OK BACK TO MAKING THERE DAY... YOUR THOUGHTS...
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:28:52 PM)
I'M SO CONFUSED
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:28:57 PM)
WITH???
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:29:45 PM)
HOW CAN I NOW NOT BE ALONE FOREVER
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:30:13 PM)
GREAT??? FIRST YOU HAVE TO OPEN YOURSELF UP TO THE POSSIBILITIKESA OF BEING WITH SOMEONE.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:30:20 PM)
DONT ISOLATE YOURSELF
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:30:38 PM)
AND REMEMBER YOU ARE MORE THAN THE MS, YOU ARE A LOVING PERSON.
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:30:43 PM)
CAN'T GO OUT
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:30:57 PM)
ISOLATION IS SAFER. SOMETIMES TIRED OF BEING HURT AND AFRAID.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:31:12 PM)
I USED TO BE ABLE TO "COMMUNICATE" WITH ARENAS AND MASS AUDIENCE BUT INDIVIDUALS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HARD NOW I'M NOT AS GOOD AT MULTITASKING WHILE FOCUSING ON SPECIFIC STYLE IS SOMETHING I'M LEARNING ALWAYS BEEN A LONER BUT LOVE COMPANIONSHIP
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:31:12 PM)
IS THAT THE MS OR SOMETHING ELSE???????
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:31:48 PM)
NURSE JOIN ME IN THE PRIVATE CHAT. CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:32:14 PM)
OK FOLKS LETS GET BACK TO THE NEXT POINT OK??]'
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:32:44 PM)
NUMBER 5. Relationships are hard work. (Pitiful or Powerful) Finally nothing worth having will come easy. Relationships are complex, and I personally enjoy mine with Cheryl, my wife. We are committed that through the good and bad and we’ve seen a bit of both, we are determined that we may have MS, but, MS does not have us.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:33:27 PM)
YOUR THOUGHTS...
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:33:38 PM)
YOU ARE A GOOD EXAMPLE COUPLE
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:33:38 PM)
DO YOU AND YOUR WIFE BOTH HAVE MS LEN?
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:33:54 PM)
ROLE MODELS
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:05 PM)
YOU ARE VERY LUCKY THERE LEN
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:14 PM)
CHERYL HAS MS.
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:19 PM)
YOU ARE SO LUCKY AND I AM HAPPY FOR YOU THAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE WHO STANDS BY YOU
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:27 PM)
but we all have MS right Len???
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:31 PM)
WE MAY HAVE A DECENT RELATIONSHIPO BUT IT TAKES LOTS OF WORK.
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:38 PM)
BUT YOU SAY WE.. THAT IS INCREDIBLE. YOU SEE IT AS YOU AS A COUPLE HAVING MS.
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:42 PM)
Cheryl was dx
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:42 PM)
YOU HAVE TO BE WILLING TO PUT IN THE TIME
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:49 PM)
CHERYL DX 1990
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:34:54 PM)
18 YEARS AGO.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:03 PM)
WE ALWAYS SAY "WE HAVE MS"
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:11 PM)
TRUE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:15 PM)
SHE PHYSICALLY HAS THE DX BUT I LIVE WITH IT.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:20 PM)
GOOD WAY TO LOOK AT IT
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:21 PM)
MOST PARTNERS DONT' ADOPT THAT PHRASE LEN.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:28 PM)
SO WE HAVE MS.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:43 PM)
I KNOW ITS A PARADIGM SHIFT.
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:48 PM)
BUT IT IS VERY TRUE, IT AFFECTS BOTH
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:53 PM)
since you have said those words to us we have changed how we tell people
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:56 PM)
SO TRUE
Chatter (Jun 5, 2008 6:35:57 PM)
YOU ARE A SAINT,LEN, BUT MEN LIKE YOU ARE UNUSUAL
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:36:09 PM)
VERY GOOD GRAMMAALI
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:36:31 PM)
thanks.....told you, you and Cheryl have changed us forever
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:36:34 PM)
IN A PARTNERSHIP, IT DOES AFFECT BOTH
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:36:41 PM)
YES IT DOES Chatter 5
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:36:52 PM)
HEY GUYS CHERYL AND I HAVE A INFOMERCIAL ON YOUTUBE.COM
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:36:59 PM)
oh yes it does
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:37:09 PM)
WILL CHECK THAT OUT
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:37:16 PM)
LOOK FOR OUR NAMES LEN AND CHERYL CHATMAN AND YOU CAN SEE WHAT THE PROGRAM IS LIKE. IT’S A REALLY GOOD PIECE.
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:37:35 PM)
SOUNDS INTERESTING
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:37:38 PM)
oh that is cool! Love youtube
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:37:46 PM)
HAVE YOU OFFERED YOUR WEBSITE HERE, LEN?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:37:54 PM)
Chatter 2 WE ENJOYED DOING THE INTERVIEWSS.
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:38:01 PM)
YES HE HAS Chatter 4
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:38:06 PM)
YES. WEBSITE IS: ALWMS.ORG
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:38:12 PM)
EMAIL: INFO@ALWMS.ORG
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:38:23 PM)
PLEASE FELL FREE TO EMAIL ME ANYTIME.
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:38:28 PM)
THATS GOOD, THE WAY A LOVING PAIR SHOULD BE
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:38:44 PM)
WELCOME TO RELATIONSHIP MATTERS WITH LEN CHATMAN
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:38:56 PM)
Len I love how you and Cheryl always say that you have MS but MS does not have you. Those are very powerful words
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:39:08 PM)
very true, as well!
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:39:10 PM)
HEYS GUYS PLEASE READ THE NEXT STATEMENT! PLEASE Tonight I want to get to know you. Please provide the following Information: USER NAME, CITY AND STATE YOU LIVE IN. If you like to join my email list please send me you email address to: ALWMS.ORG. If you want to email me after the webchat send your emails to: ALWMS.ORG
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:39:12 PM)
THAT IS MY MOTTO ALSO
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:39:44 PM)
WISH I COULD SAY THAT
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:39:45 PM)
HELLO Chatter 11
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:39:51 PM)
Minneapolis, MN
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:39:53 PM)
i always tell people that i REFUSE to be defined by the disease
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:40:00 PM)
hi len
Chatter 2 (Jun 5, 2008 6:40:22 PM)
THX FOR THE GREAT INFO LEN, I NEED TO GO REST FOR A FEW MINUTES
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:40:25 PM)
GROVE CITY, OHIO
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:40:26 PM)
YOU HAVE TO BE THE DEFINER, not ms
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:40:58 PM)
NAPERVILLE, IL
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:41:27 PM)
THANKS ALL. I NEED THIS INFO FOR MY RECORDS.
Chatter 4 (Jun 5, 2008 6:41:39 PM)
NATCHEZ MISSISSIPPI
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:41:39 PM)
THANKS, SO MUCH, LEN FOR THE ADVICE
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:41:51 PM)
Chicago
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:42:04 PM)
ANY OTHERS???
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:42:07 PM)
MARTINSBURG WEST VIRGINIA
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:42:12 PM)
VA BEACH,VA
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:42:36 PM)
CHERYL AND I WILL BE IN CHARLESTON WV NEXT WEEK
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:42:55 PM)
heard it's beautiful there
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:42:55 PM)
WISH I COULD BE THERE
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:03 PM)
NOT TOO FAR FROM ME LEN..
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:05 PM)
WE USED TO LIVE IN VIRGINIA BEACH
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:09 PM)
HOW MANY DAYS A YEAR DO YOU SPEAK?
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:40 PM)
DID YOU LIKEIT HERE IN VA BEACH,LEN
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:41 PM)
ABOUT 40/60 PROGRAMS A YEAR. ACCUMULATING ABOUT 180/AYS A YEAR TRAVELING
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:47 PM)
LOVED VA BEACH
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:52 PM)
HECTIC LIFE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:43:57 PM)
OK LAST THOUGHTS...
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:44:14 PM)
HECTIC LIFE, BUT CHERYL AND I TRAVEL TOGETHER EVERY WEEK.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:44:26 PM)
HELPS BONDING
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:44:29 PM)
HOW DO YOU DO THAT ?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:44:35 PM)
Next week I will provide Seven secrets for creating intimacy in your relationship. I want to send you a cheat sheet on the 13 different types of intimacy. Send me your email address s so you can have this for our next chat. Put in subject line: INTIMACY CHEAT SHEET.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:44:53 PM)
WE ARE VERY ORGANIZED AND CHERYL ENSURES SHE REST OFTEN.
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:44:57 PM)
I WAS WONDERING THE SAME NURSE. THE TRAVELING WOULD WEAR ME OUT.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:45:03 PM)
THANKS LEN
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:45:08 PM)
WE WORK OUT TOGETHER TO KEEP THE STRES TO A MINIMUM
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:45:42 PM)
WHERE DO YOU LIVE NOW,LEN
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:45:49 PM)
WE HAVE A COUSIN NOW HELPING WITH THE LOGISTICS OF TRAVEL AND WORKSHOP PLANNING.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:46:11 PM)
WITH 13 TYPES HOPEFULLY FIND ONE THAT WORKS :)
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:46:25 PM)
WE LIVE IN ORANGE PARK FLORIDA. NEIGHHOOD TO JACKSONVILLE FL.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:46:48 PM)
IF YOU WANT THE SHEET SEND ME YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO info@alwms.org
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:46:56 PM)
SUBJECT LINE INTIMACY.
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:16 PM)
THE HEAT THERE MUST BE AWFUL
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:25 PM)
IT WAS 103 TODAY.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:30 PM)
WHOO
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:33 PM)
love the heat!
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:35 PM)
WOW LEN. YUCK ; I MEAN THAT NICELY
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:38 PM)
CHERYL KNOWS HOW TO COME IN FROM THE HEAT.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:52 PM)
ITS NOT EVEN SUMMER TIME YET
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:47:55 PM)
Thank goodness Cheryl. We would have to come down there and move you two to NH
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:17 PM)
WE HAVE ABOUT TEN MIN LEFT ANY PARTING OR BURNING THOUGHTS???
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:37 PM)
HONESTLY HOW DID YOU ALL THINK TONIGHT WENT?????
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:45 PM)
HAVE YOU EVER HAD COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS IN THE PAST?
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:45 PM)
very well
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:52 PM)
NICE INTRO WILL EMAIL FOR CHEAT SHEETS
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:52 PM)
THANKS FOR YOUR KINDNESS AND INSPIRATION
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:53 PM)
i missed most of the chat, so how about some sort of "summary" for us latecomers?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:48:57 PM)
YES, YES, YES, YES!!!!!!!!
Chatter 8 (Jun 5, 2008 6:49:09 PM)
OFF TO A VERY GOOD START -YOU WERE WELL PREPARED LEN
Chatter 7 (Jun 5, 2008 6:49:10 PM)
ME TOO
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:49:43 PM)
MS makes you smart. :)
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:50:00 PM)
too funny! i was smart before MS
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:50:02 PM)
HOW DID YOU GET PAST YOUR PROBLEMS, WITH THE STEPS YOU TOLD US? AND HOW DID YOU REALIZE WHAT THE PROBLEMS WERE?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:50:26 PM)
OK WE GAVE FIVE POINTS TO HELP YOU COMMUNICATE MORE EFFECTIVELY HERE THEY ARE AGAIN....
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:50:29 PM)
AND GOOD JOB LEN. :)
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:50:31 PM)
I'LL TALK ABOUT CHAT IN OTHER ROOMS WHILE THERE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:50:33 PM)
Be available for each other. (Fully Present) Remember each of you have needs (Make Their Day) Relationships are hard work. (Pitiful or Powerful)
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:51:10 PM)
Chatter 5, CHERYL AND I TALK ALOT, WE RESPECT EACH OTHERS OPINION FIRST
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:51:14 PM)
Tonight went very well Len
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:51:37 PM)
WE MAKE SURE WHEN WE TALK THAT WE HAVE THE TIME TO TALK.
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:51:43 PM)
YOU KNOW, ALOT OF COUPLES FORGET THT OPINIONS COUNT,AND ARE VALID. STUBBORNNESS OFTEN MAKES EACH IN A RELATIONSHIP THINK THEIR POINT OF VIEW IS ALWAYS RIGHT
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:52:01 PM)
AND WE PROMISE EACH OTHER (WHEN WE CAN) THAT WE WILL NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY.
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:52:08 PM)
SO TRUE.
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:52:17 PM)
len, I have one burning question - how did YOU learn to listen?
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:52:27 PM)
BUT WE ARE OFTEN WRONG IF WE LOOK AT IT FROM ALL SIDES
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:52:34 PM)
GOOD TIP LEN PARTNERS SHOULDN'T TAKE COMMENTS PERSONALLY
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:52:47 PM)
that seems to be my biggest problem - he doesn't listen - ever
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:52:57 PM)
Chatter 11, I LEARNED TO LISTEN THROUGH TRAIL AND EROR
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:53:11 PM)
good enough
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:53:19 PM)
I ALSO TOOK SEVERAL CLASSES ON THAT SAME SUBJ
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:53:39 PM)
I FOUND OUT THAT TO GET SOMEONE TO LISTEN, I HAVE TO CHANGE MY APPROACH SOMETIMES. PARTNERS TEND TO ZONE OUT WHEN THEY HEAR SOMEONE TALKING IN THE SAME TONE ALL THE TIME.
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:53:44 PM)
he's not open to anything like that, and frankly, i no longer am open to much either
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:53:46 PM)
CHERYL IS A GOOD LISTENER, AND SHE HEL0PS BRINBG THE BEST OUT IN ME AND OTHERS
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:54:15 PM)
BRING HIM/HER TO OUR PROGRAM WE CAN HELP!
Chatter 5 (Jun 5, 2008 6:54:20 PM)
I MAY FORGET WHEN YOUR NEXT CHAT IS BUT I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER TO BE HERE. I FORGET ALOT.
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:54:24 PM)
where/when?
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:54:36 PM)
Chatter 5, check our chat schedule http://www.msworld.org/html/chat_schedule.htm
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:54:39 PM)
HERE 8PM EST
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:55:04 PM)
he just changed his shift at work, and now works nights - sleeps days
Chatter 11 (Jun 5, 2008 6:55:16 PM)
oh, well
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:55:19 PM)
for those that forget mark your calendars........we live by a calendar
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:55:25 PM)
THAT'LL BE THE 19TH AT 8 PM EST.
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:55:32 PM)
SAD BUT TRUE CHATTER 6
LizOP (Jun 5, 2008 6:55:41 PM)
Len, we have another chat at 8 p.m. every Thursday so the time will conflict once a month
Chatter 6 (Jun 5, 2008 6:56:01 PM)
well we did not use to until my husband kept missing appt
Chatter 1 (Jun 5, 2008 6:56:09 PM)
THANKS EVERYONE
LenNMSS (Jun 5, 2008 6:56:13 PM)
FOLKS I REALLY ENJOYED OUR TIME TODAY. I WISH YOU ALL THE VERY BEST. I'LL LOOK FOR YOUR EMAIULS AT: info@alwms.org. GOOD NIGHT FOR NOW.
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