Relationship Matters Chat
Hosted by
Len Chatman
Marriage enrichment specialist, minister, and retired Naval Administrator. His wife, Cheryl, has MS.
Series on Relationship Matters
June 19, 2008
Topic: Intimacy

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:03:16 PM)
ANY QUESTIONS FROM LAST  TIME WE MET?

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:03:34 PM)
I WISH I COULD GET HUBBY TO SIT IN HERE TOO

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:03:38 PM)
I'M A FIRST TIMER, SO NONE FROM ME

Chatter  11    (Jun 19, 2008 7:03:45 PM)
ME TOO

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:03:49 PM)
FIRST TIMER AS WELL

Chatter  3    (Jun 19, 2008 7:03:56 PM)
i'm new too

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:03:56 PM)
1ST TIME HERE

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:01 PM)
HAVE YOU ALL GOTTEN THE TRANSCRIPT FROM LAST TIME?

Chatter  5    (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:02 PM)
DITTO

Chatter  6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:05 PM)
FIRST TIME HERE.

Chatter 8    (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:06 PM)
NO

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:11 PM)
NO TRANSCRIPTS

Chatter 6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:13 PM)
NO

Chatter 4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:13 PM)
NO..DIDNT KNOW ROOM WAS HERE TIL HR AGO

Chatter  11    (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:14 PM)
NO

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:16 PM)
I CAN SEND IF YOU HAV NOT RECVD.

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:17 PM)
WERE DO YOU FIND THEM?

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:20 PM)
I HAVE NOT GOTTEN THE TRANSCRIPT--IS IT ON THE FORUM?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:25 PM)
STAY AS YOU ARE.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:30 PM)
I AM NEW TO MSCHAT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:36 PM)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET STARTED?

Chatter  11    (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:40 PM)
SURE

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:40 PM)
YES

Chatter  5    (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:42 PM)
YUPPERS

Chatter  6  (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:43 PM)
SURE

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:44 PM)
YEP

Chatter  3   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:47 PM)
yep

SciOP   (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:50 PM)
THE TRANSCRIPT FROM LAST TIME IS ON THE Website under Guest Chats

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:57 PM)
WILL YOU BE DOIN A INTRO?

Chatter  11    (Jun 19, 2008 7:04:57 PM)
THANKS Chatter  2  

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:05:03 PM)
PERFECT, TY Chatter  2  

Chatter  2    (Jun 19, 2008 7:05:09 PM)
SURE LEN

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:05:17 PM)
ITS YOUR TURN

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:06:13 PM)
RE YOU READY?

SciOP  (Jun 19, 2008 7:06:15 PM)
EVERYONE, THIS IS DR. LEN CHATMAN HE'S OUR RELATIONSHIPS CHAT HOST, AND WELL LEN CAN'T REMEMBER ALL YOUR INFO FOR SURE, YOU ARE A RELATIONSHIPS COUNSELOR RIGHT?

AND I KNOW YOUR WIFE CHERYL HAS MS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:06:35 PM)
YES THAT'S RIGHT

Chatter  4    (Jun 19, 2008 7:06:42 PM)
MASTERS SOCIAL SCIENCE?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:06:57 PM)
THATS CORRECT, BUT NOT A DOC.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:04 PM)
SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:15 PM)
LETS GET STARTED.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:23 PM)
THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TONIGHT FOR OUR BI-WEEKLY WEB-CHAT. WE ARE HONORED THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO JOIN US. WE HAVE LOTS TO COVER TO NIGHT SO LET’S GET STARTED.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:33 PM)
AS PROMISED DURING OUR LAST CHAT TONIGHT WE’LL BE TALKING ABOUT THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF INTIMACY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:44 PM)
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE TERM INTIMACY, WHAT’S THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO YOUR MIND?

Chatter  4    (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:49 PM)
NOT SEX

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:52 PM)
SEX

Chatter  3  (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:52 PM)
cuddle

Chatter  6  (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:54 PM)
SEX

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:07:56 PM)
BEING CLOSE TO HUBBY

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:08:00 PM)
WHA?

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:08:01 PM)
SHARING A MOMENT

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:08:05 PM)
CLOSENESS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:08:16 PM)
YOU ALL ARE CORRECT. HOWEVER LET ME GIVE YOU SOME MORE INFO ON THE SUBJ.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:08:27 PM)
I REALIZE THIS SUBJECT CAN BE ABIT UN-NERVING FOR SOME, BUT TRUST ME, WE WILL APPROACH THE SUBJECT IN THE MOST SENSITIVE AND PRIVATE MANNER.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:08:50 PM)
MANY OF US HAVE VARYING DEFINITIONS OF WHAT INTIMACY IS. THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT MOST OF US LOOK AT INTIMACY IN TWO WAYS. *** MEN VIEW “INTIMACY” AS

SEX *** WHILE WOMEN VIEW “INTIMACY” AS THE ACTS THAT LEAD TO SEX. (Touching, kissing, fondling, etc…)

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:01 PM)
I'LL GIVE YOU A MOMENT TO DIGEST.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:28 PM)
DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS SYNAPSIS?

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:34 PM)
AGREE

Chatter 12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:38 PM)
YUP AGREE

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:39 PM)
AGREE

Chatter  9    (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:40 PM)
SOMEWHAT AGREE

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:49 PM)
WHY SOMEWHAT AGREE?

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:50 PM)
YEAH SOMEWHAT AS WELL

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:09:56 PM)
AGREE

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:03 PM)
SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT, THINK MY EX-BF FIT THAT DEFINITION FOR MEN TO A TEE

Chatter  9    (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:10 PM)
B/C WOMEN ARE TAUGHT THAT SEX IS INTIMACY IN A WAY

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:21 PM)
AS A WOMAN I VIEW SEX AS INTIMACY AS WELL

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:25 PM)
AND FORGET ABOUT OTHER "STUFF"

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:33 PM)
DR. JOHN GRAY AUTHOR OF MEN ARE FROM MARS WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS SAYS THAT THE SEXES JUST THINK DIFFERENTLY.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:43 PM)
I LOVE THAT BOOK

Chatter 9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:51 PM)
I DO AGREE WE THINK DIFFERENTLY, BUT SOMETIMES GROW TO BELIEVE THE OTHER

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:54 PM)
IF YOU ALL ARE LADIES RESPONDING YOU TOO ARE CORRECT.

Chatter  11    (Jun 19, 2008 7:10:59 PM)
I JUST MENTIONED THAT BOOK BEFORE YOU CAME IN LEN

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:11:09 PM)
GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE.

Chatter 11    (Jun 19, 2008 7:11:14 PM)
LOL

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:11:25 PM)
ITS ON MY TO READ LIST

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:11:30 PM)
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF LEN, I THINK WE DO HAVE AN ALL FEMALE GROUP TONIGHT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:11:33 PM)
LETE ME GIVE YOU A SIMPLE DEFINITION OF INTIMACY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:11:53 PM)
I AM HONORED TO BE WITH A ROOM FULL OF LADIES

Chatter 4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:06 PM)
MY HSB SHOULD BE HERE THOUGH

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:08 PM)
THE MEANING OF INTIMACY VARIES FROM RELATIONSHIP TO RELATIONSHIP, AND WITHIN A GIVEN RELATIONSHIP. INTIMACY HAS MORE TO DO WITH RITUALS OF CONNECTION. IT IS

POSSIBLE TO COMPETE OVER INTIMACY BUT THAT IS LIKELY TO BE SELF-DEFEATING. INTIMACY REQUIRES EMPATHY - THE ABILITY TO STAND IN ANOTHER'S SHOES.

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:18 PM)Chatter  4  --HAVE HIM READ THE TRANSCRIPT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:35 PM)
YOUR THOUGHT...

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:38 PM)
Chatter  4  ...GOOD IDEA

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:39 PM)
PUT IT IN THE BATHROOM 

Chatter  4  THAT IS WHERE I PUT STUFF I WANT JOHN TO READ

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:52 PM)
I AGREE LEN

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:12:55 PM)
"RITUALS"...THAT'S IT

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:02 PM)
I AGREE

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:16 PM)
YUP

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:20 PM)
WOULD YOU ALL BE COMFORTABLE IN APPROPRIATELY SHARING INTIMATE RITUALS?

Chatter  3   (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:33 PM)
sure

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:37 PM)
YES

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:39 PM)
LIKE CANDLES, DINNER, DANCING??? WHAT YOU DO OR HAVE DONE?

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:40 PM)
DEFINE APPROPRIATE?

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:45 PM)
OH OK

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:45 PM)
OK

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:45 PM)
HE TAKES CONTROLLER FROM ME WHEN HE COMES TO BED?

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:45 PM)
ROFL

Chatter  13   (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:46 PM)
K

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:13:52 PM)
SEE ABOVE EXAMPLW

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:00 PM)
DONT BOTHER ME

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:09 PM)
LOL

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:17 PM)
FIRST OF ALL TV OFF

Chatter  9  (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:17 PM)
TIME, DARKNESS, NO BABY, DRINKS??

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:23 PM)
INTIMACY TO ME IS WASHIN THE DISHES AND VACCUMING

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:37 PM)
HE NEVER LOOKED MORE SEXY

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:41 PM)
LOL

Chatter  13     (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:44 PM)
LOL

Chatter 11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:44 PM)
DIMMED LIGHTS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:47 PM)
AS LONG AS WASHING THE DISHING IS DONE AS A TEAM.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:50 PM)
OHH NO..I KNOW WHEN HUBBY IS WANTING INTIMACY..HE ACTS NICE

Chatter  13   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:52 PM)
CANDLES FOR SURE

Chatter  6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:53 PM)
MINE LOOKS PRETTY SEXY IN AN APRON...COOKING.

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:14:54 PM)
WE SPEND TIME TOGETHER. WATCHING A MOVIE TOGETHER ON THE SOFA

Chatter 6  (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:02 PM)
CANDLES FOR REAL, WITH A BUBBLE BATH TO START.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:07 PM)
MOST MEN ACT NICE WHEN WE WANT TO BE CLOSE.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:08 PM)
NICE Chatter  6 

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:08 PM)
I WAS THINKIN HIM WASH THE DISHES... ROFL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:11 PM)
JUST A THOUGHT...

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:16 PM)
INTIMACY IS BOTH THE ABILITY AND THE CHOICE TO BE CLOSE, LOVING, AND VULNERABLE. INTIMACY REQUIRES IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT. YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOURSELF AND YOUR

INNER SELF IN ORDER TO SHARE YOUR SELF WITH ANOTHER.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:19 PM)
AIS..POPCORN IS GOOD APHRODISIAC LOL

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:22 PM)
THAT IS USUALLY HOW I KNOW..

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:31 PM)
INTIMACY IS BOTH THE ABILITY AND THE CHOICE TO BE CLOSE, LOVING, AND VULNERABLE. INTIMACY REQUIRES IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT. YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOURSELF AND YOUR

INNER SELF IN ORDER TO SHARE YOUR SELF WITH ANOTHER.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:40 PM)
JUST FOR EMPHASIS...

Chatter  3  (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:43 PM)
he cleans up, & puts on after shave

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:52 PM)
LEN...HOW CAN WE FEEL INTIMATE ANYMORE WITH OUR BODIES CHANGING EVERY DAY? I AM BLIND AND IN A WC WITHIN A YEAR?

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:15:53 PM)
I AGREE I AM JUST STARTING TO LEARN THIS

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:16:11 PM)
TRUST COMES INTO PLAY TO?

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:16:17 PM)
OUR=MS WOMEN IN GENERAL

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:16:19 PM)
WITH MY EX BF, IT WAS STRIP WHILE WATCHING TV TOGETHER, SOMETHING HE HAD ON THE TV LIKE VIVA LA BAM

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:16:23 PM)
LIFE IS A LESSON OF TIME AND HOPFULLY WE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE TIME WE HAVE TOGETHER.

Chatter  6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:16:34 PM)
I DON'T FEEL ATTRACTIVE AT ALL....AND I CAN'T FEEL SOMETIMES, WHICH MAKES IT HARD. BUT I TOO LIKE IT WHEN HE PUTS ON MY FAVORITE COLOGNE...I JUST DON'T LIKE FAKING

IT.

Chatter  12   7:16:35 PM)
AND WHEN YOU DONT REALLY FEEL LIKE GOING THE WHOLE WAY BUT WOULDNT MIND JUST SNUGGLIN' KWIM?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:16:46 PM)
OK LADIES THIS IS GOOD STUFF FOR CHEWING.,

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:16:57 PM)
WE CALL THAT SPOONING.

Chatter  4  08 7:17:02 PM)
RIGHT..DO U MIND MOVING TO OTHER LEG..THAT WAS HAS NEUROPATHY SO SUCK THE OTHER TOE LOL

Chatter  13  8 7:17:04 PM)
HUGGING AND SNUGGLE IS GOOD

Chatter  8  08 7:17:15 PM)
LOL

Chatter  12 08 7:17:16 PM)
WE CANT DO THAT... THINGS HAPPEN AND THEN THE ANGER STARTS

Chatter  6   8 7:17:18 PM)
LOL

Chatter  7  08 7:17:19 PM)
UNFORTUNATLY SNUGGLING ALL THE TIME ISN'T WHAT THE PARTNER WANTS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:17:19 PM)
AND CHERYL AND I DO ALOT OF THAT, WHEN SHE'S A GOOD GIRL LOL.

Chatter  13  8 7:17:20 PM)
THE SOFT TOUCHES

Chatter  3  08 7:17:28 PM)
it does not have to be the act itself, holding hands is great when he does not feel well.

Chatter  6  08 7:17:38 PM)
MY HUBBY DOESN'T LIKE TO ALWAYS SNUGGLE, HE WANTS THE CAKE AND HE WANTS TO EAT IT TOO.

Chatter  6  08 7:17:41 PM)
NOT ME!

Chatter  12  8 7:17:44 PM)
RIGHT  Chatter  6

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:17:47 PM)
KNOWING YOURSELF MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO STAND FOR YOURSELF IN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT TAKING OVER THE OTHER OR LOSING YOURSELF TO THE OTHER. THIS

ABILITY TO BE SEPARATE AND TOGETHER IN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP AND BEING OKAY WITH THAT IS CALLED SELF-DIFFERENTIATION.

Chatter  12  08 7:17:48 PM)
THATS WHAT IM SAYIN

Chatter  4  008 7:17:52 PM)
RIGHT...THE PRIZE OR NOTHING

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:17:55 PM)
READ THE LAST LINE LADIES

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:18:02 PM)
KNOWING YOURSELF MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO STAND FOR YOURSELF IN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT TAKING OVER THE OTHER OR LOSING YOURSELF TO THE OTHER. THIS

ABILITY TO BE SEPARATE AND TOGETHER IN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP AND BEING OKAY WITH THAT IS CALLED SELF-DIFFERENTIATION.

Chatter 6    (Jun 19, 2008 7:18:26 PM)
WHAT ABOUT IF "WE" ARE OKAY WITH THAT , BUT NOT OUR PARTNER THOUGH?

Chatter  11    (Jun 19, 2008 7:18:27 PM)
INTERESTING LEN....FEEL LIKE I KINDA LOST WHO I AM WHEN MS HIT...MY LIFE CHANGED SO MUCH...

Chatter 12    (Jun 19, 2008 7:18:30 PM)
WELL WE DO THAT

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:18:39 PM)
IS IT LEGAL TO PULL UR HUBBY INTO A CHATROOM VIA BUNGIE STRAPS?

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:18:43 PM)
HE WILL PLAY VIDEO GAMES AND I AM ON THE COMPUTER AND WE ARE OK WIHT THAT

Chatter  4    (Jun 19, 2008 7:18:59 PM)
J/K

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:19:07 PM)
Chatter 11  , THATS WHY WE'RE HERE, WE'RE TRYING TO RESTORE OUR SELVES

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:19:23 PM)
OK

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:19:33 PM)
PLAYING SEPARATELY IS OK ALSO AS LONG AS WE COME TOGETHER AT OTHER TIMES.

Chatter 11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:19:43 PM)
RIGHT

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:19:44 PM)
WHAT IF ONE TOTALLY DISCONNECTS?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:19:50 PM)
REMEMBER EACH PARTNER NEEDS HIS/HER SPACE THAT HELPS IN CONNECT LATER

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:20:00 PM)
THEN YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:20:14 PM)
WE CAN DISCUSS THAT LATER OR VIA PRIVATE EMAIL.

Chatter  6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:20:16 PM)
MINE FEEL'S LET DOWN WHEN I SAY I HAVE A "HEADACHE". YOU CAN TELL BY THE WHOLE DEMEENER.

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:20:30 PM)
I'M ALWAYS "TOO TIRED"

Chattter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:20:35 PM)
SO WE SHOULD COMPROMISE WITH OUR PARTNERS BUT IF INTIMACY FOR MEN IS SEX AND WE CAN'T (PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY) THEN HOW ARE WE SHARING INTEMACY.?

Chatter  6  (Jun 19, 2008 7:20:36 PM)
ME 2 Chatter  9 

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:20:52 PM)
YES IF YOU CAN TIE HIM DOWN LONG ENOUGH.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:21:05 PM)
LETS CONTINUE.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:21:06 PM)
AND IF WE SAY ITS NOT OK...IS THAT LETTING ROOM IN FOR AFFAIRS?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:21:15 PM)
LACKING THE ABILITY TO DIFFERENTIATE ONE SELF FROM THE OTHER IS A FORM OF SYMBIOSIS. THIS TOO IS DIFFERENT FROM INTIMACY THOUGH TO SOME THAT KIND OF DEPENDENT

CLOSENESS MAY FEEL THE SAME.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:21:38 PM)
CORRECT ON AFFAIRS. I HAVE A SESSION I CALL AFFAIR PROFFING YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:21:50 PM)
WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS DURING ONE OF OUR CHATS.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:22:02 PM)
REMIND ME OK

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:22:04 PM)
IM ASSUMIN A 9 IRON AINT THE ANSWER ON THAT ONE

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:22:09 PM)
Chatter  12  LOL

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:22:13 PM)
SORRY'

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:22:20 PM)
IF YOU ALL LIKE YOU CAN ALSO SEND ME EMAILS TO: INFO@ALWMS.ORG

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:22:42 PM)
ARE YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE, PARTNER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER INTIMATE IN THESE WAYS? • INTELLECTUAL INTIMACY • SOCIAL INTIMACY • EMOTIONAL INTIMACY • SPIRITUAL

INTIMACY • PHYSICAL INTIMACY

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:04 PM)
SOME OF EM

Chatter 8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:05 PM)
NOT ALL

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:06 PM)
NOPE/NOPE/NOPE/NOPE (HE SLEEPS DURING CHURCH) AND NOPE

Chatter 9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:16 PM)
MOST

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:23 PM)
OUR MARRIAGE IS DOOMED

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:27 PM)
I'DE LIKE TO OFFER YOU SOME DEFINITIONS OF THE FOLLOWING.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:28 PM)
DONT SAY THAT

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:32 PM)
MAN I FEEL SCREWED

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:41 PM)
NOPE ON ALL COUNTS AS WELL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:23:54 PM)
IT'S NOT DOOMED. AS LONG AS THEIR IS BREATH THERE IS LIFE/HOPE.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:24:03 PM)
IT NEEDS CPR

Chatter 7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:24:11 PM)
LOL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:24:14 PM)
THAT MAY BE TRUE BUT NOT DOOOMED.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:24:34 PM)
HERE ARE THE DIFINITIONS OF THE ABOVE TOPICS.

Chatter  3  (Jun 19, 2008 7:24:44 PM)
how old r you Chatter  4 

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:24:45 PM)
INTELLECTUAL INTIMACY. THIS ISN'T ABOUT DISCUSSING HIGHLY INTELLECTUAL IDEAS. THE IMPORTANT THING IS DISCUSSING YOUR THOUGHTS. THEY MAY BE THOUGHTS ABOUT FOOD,

FINANCES, HEALTH, CRIME, WORK, POLITICS. THEY REVEAL SOMETHING OF WHAT'S GONE ON IN YOUR MIND THROUGHOUT THE DAY.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:01 PM)
OH GEEZ

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:05 PM)
LOST MY CABLE CONNECTION, HOPEFULLY I'LL STAY CONNECTED HERE, PATCHED INTO AND NEIGHBORING UNSECURED NETWORK, BUT ONLY GETTING A REALLY WEAK SIGNAL FROM IT

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:05 PM)
53 Chatter  3 

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:17 PM)
Chatter  2  ....ITS COWPOKING LOL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:22 PM)
LADIES YOUR THOUGHTS...

Chatter  11  (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:36 PM)
YES WE SHARE THAT LEN

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:44 PM)
THIS IS THE ONE THAT I HAVE TROUBLE WITH

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:51 PM)
WE ARE LEARNING THIS PART, LEN, THROUGH OTHER THERAPY

Chatter 7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:54 PM)
ITS ONE I FEEL IS VERY IMPORTANT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:25:58 PM)
IT'S IMPORTANT TO CONNECT A LEAST ONCE A DAY.

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:02 PM)
DON'T EVEN SHARE SAME VOCABULARY

Chatter 1   (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:14 PM)
that would have to happen at dinner then it is nap time and reading the paper antv for him

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:20 PM)
I DON'T BELEIVE YOU HAVE TO SMOOTHER EACH OTHER, BUT YOU MUST TAKE TIME TO MEET DAILY.

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:21 PM)
I CANT GET MY HUBBY AWAY FROM RUNESCAPE TO TALK INTELLIGENTLY

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:38 PM)
DO YOU ALL TALK SOMETIMES???

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:38 PM)
BUT I CAN UGHMM EXPRESSSS MY EMOTIONS WELL TO HIM WHEN IT ISNT OK THOUGH

Chatyter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:42 PM)
HE IS VERY GOOD COMPANION FOR MY 15 YR OLD SON

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:46 PM)
YES

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:47 PM)
WE TALK ALL THE TIME

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:52 PM)
YA ABOUT NOTHING

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:26:56 PM)
HUBBY DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT MS

Chatter  8  (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:00 PM)
OR FOR THE GUYS

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:01 PM)
BUT EMOTIONS ARE DIFFT THAN THIS INTELLECTUAL, RIGHT?

Chatter 7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:03 PM)
MY HUBS KEEPS HIS THOUGHTS TOHIMSELF

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:04 PM)
BUT NOT ABOUT SAY GIVING YOUR MOTHER MY CAR WITHOUT TELLING ME FIRST AND STUFF

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:08 PM)
HE DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT I AM OK ABOUT DEATH

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:09 PM)
BUT TALKING EVEN THOUGH ABOUYT NOTHING.

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:10 PM)
MINE TOO  Chatter  7 

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:20 PM)
YEAH BUT THE IMPORTANT STUFF I GET LEFT OUT OF

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:25 PM)
YES

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:26 PM)
SINCE I GOT SICK

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:28 PM)
I COULD TALK TO HIM ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT TONITE MATTERS...AND HE BE HAPPY

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:29 PM)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ABOUT DEATH???

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:33 PM)
I TALK TO OTHERS AT COLLEGE

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:58 PM)
LEN...I HAVE TOLD HIM I AM FINE WITH DEATH...AM CHRISTIAN..KNOW WHERE I AM GOING..NOT GOING TODAY..SO AM LIVINGGGGGGGGGGGG WELL

Chatter  2  (Jun 19, 2008 7:27:59 PM)
PART OF THE TROUBLE WITH ME AND MY EX-BF IS HE'S WATCH TV SHOWS I COULDN'T STAND THEN WHEN I WOULD GO WATCH SHOWS I LIKED IN A DIFFERENT ROOM A LOT, HE'D

THINK I DIDN'T LOVE HIM ANYMORE BECAUSE I WASN'T WATCHING TV WITH HIM

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:28:21 PM)
LADIES, REMEMBER MEN, DON'T ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES, YOU WILL BE THEIR TEACHERS, BUT SOMETIMES IT TAKES TIME.

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:28:33 PM)
12 YEARS?

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:28:37 PM)
MORE LIKE THEIR MOTHERS

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:28:41 PM)
DONT GO THERE

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:28:43 PM)
OOPS

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:28:46 PM)
ROFL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:28:58 PM)
IT IS IMPORTANT TO SHARE IN THE OTHERS IDEA S OF ENTERTAINMENT.

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:03 PM)
I TRY THE LETS TALK METHOD AND HE JUST LOOKS AT ME LIKE IM CRAZY. LIKE WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY SAY

Chatter 12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:19 PM)
OH IF I SAY LETS TALK HE PICKS UP A VIDEO GAME

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:26 PM)
I JUST CANT GET INTO THE KILLING OF MONSTERS....BURYING THEIR BONES...GETTING MATCHES...STARTING FIRES

Chatter 6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:28 PM)
HAHAHA YEAH. MINES TOO

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:30 PM)
I WANT TO SEND YOU ALL SOME INFO ON WHAT MEN AND WOMEN WANT OR FIND MOST IMPORTANT.

Chatter  11  (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:46 PM)
OK LEN

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:48 PM)
HOW DO U SEND IT TO US?

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:50 PM)
GROOVChatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:54 PM)

DO WE HAVE MAILBOXES HERE?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:56 PM)
SEND ME ME AN EMAIL TO INFO@ALWMS.ORG PUT IN SUBJ LINE WHAT MEN/WOMEN NEED.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:29:59 PM)
OHH OK

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:30:21 PM)
LADIES I LIKE TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT TYPE OF INTIMACY.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:30:24 PM)
OK BUT IF YOU GET AN EMAIL FROM MY HUBBY ASKIN WHO THE BLANK YOU ARE AND STUFF.... JUST KNOW HE CHECKS MY EMAAILS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:30:30 PM)
SOCIAL INTIMACY. THIS HAS TO DO WITH SPENDING TIME AROUND THE EVENTS OF LIFE. SOME OF THESE EVENTS WE EXPERIENCE TOGETHER; OTHERS HAPPEN WHILE WE'RE APART AND

ARE SHARED THROUGH OPEN COMMUNICATION. MUCH OF LIFE INVOLVES DOING. WHEN WE DO THINGS TOGETHER, WE NOT ONLY DEVELOP A SENSE OF TEAMWORK, WE ALSO ENHANCE

OUR SENSE OF INTIMACY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:30:51 PM)
NOT A PROBLEM, I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS KIND OF INTRUSION.

Chatter 12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:30:56 PM)
:)

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:30:59 PM)
JSUT WARNING

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:31:33 PM)
OK LEN

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:31:39 PM)
YOUR THOUGHTS?

Chatter  6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:31:47 PM)
(This user has moved to MSWorld Chat) (IP = 66.58.196.121)

Chatter  9  (Jun 19, 2008 7:31:59 PM)
NOT ENOUGH, BUT WE DO HAVE THIS (HE WORKS A LOT AND I'M A FULL TIME WORKING MOM WITH CHILD)

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:32:22 PM)
I AGREE AND MAY EVEN START SOME RITUALS

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:32:25 PM)
SOCIAL INTIMACY LIKE GOING OUT (DINNER, MOVIES, FRIENDS, PARTIES, ETC)?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:32:29 PM)
AGAIN, I ONLY ENCOURAGE COUPLES TO TRY AND FIND TIME TO MEET.

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:32:41 PM)
HMMM EVENTS INLIFE...HUBBY USUALLY THROWS A TANTRUM AND TRIGGERS MY MS PAIN...AND AHH WHAT EVENT?

Chatter 9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:32:52 PM)
WE HAVE STARTED DATE NIGHT 2X A MONTH---HE'S IN CHARGE OF 1, ME THE OTHER; TOTAL SURPRISE AND ARRANGED, TOO

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:02 PM)
GREAT

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:06 PM)
Chatter  9..I DID THAT WITH FIRST MARRIAGE...WAS FUN

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:08 PM)
WE SUPPORT THATAT IDEA

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:14 PM)
MY HUBS IS A HOMEBODY. CAN YOU HAVE SOCIAL INTIMACY AT HOME?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:18 PM)
TRY AGAIN IT WORKS.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:22 PM)
WE HAVE NO MONEY CUZ MY MS HAS SHOT OUR BUDGET TO PIECES

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:22 PM)
I'M EXHAUSTED, BUT IT'S WORTH IT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:25 PM)
YES YES YES

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:36 PM)
YOU ONLY NEED TO CREAT THE ENV AT HOME.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:43 PM)
WE HAVE 15 YR OLD?

Chatter  9  (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:48 PM)
DATE NIGHT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE "OUT"

Chatter  4  s (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:57 PM)
COMPUTER IS HERE

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:33:58 PM)
WE HAVE FRIENDS OVER SOMETIMES

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:05 PM)
HUBBY=COMPUTER

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:06 PM)
DINNER, HOT BATH, SKIMMPY NIGHT WEAR, ETC, WATCHING ROMATIC MOVIE TOGETHER.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:13 PM)
ROFL

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:20 PM)
HOT BATH FOR MS PT?

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:35 PM)
SORRY IM LAUGHING AT THE SKIMPY NIGHT WEAR

Chattter  8  (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:39 PM)
HOW WOULD I GET OUT OF TUB

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:41 PM)
YES, WITH TEMPERED WATER. NOT ALL MS PT ARE HEAT SENSITIVE.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:41 PM)
HEY BABE...LET ME TAKE U FOR A STROLL IN MY SEXY WC LOL

nancyjones (Jun 19, 2008 7:34:45 PM)
THE OTHERS WOUDL BE OK

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:35:03 PM)
HOW ABOUT EMOTIONAL INTIMACY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:35:11 PM)
EMOTIONAL INTIMACY. FEELINGS ARE OUR SPONTANEOUS, EMOTIONAL RESPONSES TO WHAT WE ENCOUNTER THROUGH THE FIVE SENSES. I SEE THE FIRE TRUCK RACING DOWN THE ROAD

AND I FEEL TROUBLED. YOU TOUCH MY HAND AND I FEEL LOVED. WHEN WE SHARE EMOTIONS, WE BUILD EMOTIONAL INTIMACY.

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:35:34 PM)
GREAT IDEA

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:35:36 PM)
YOUR THOUGHTS...

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:35:42 PM)
"LEAN INTO, NOT AWAY FROM" EMOTIONS......YEAH, WORKING ON THAT ONE

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:35:42 PM)
WHAT IF U DONT FEEL THAT ANYMORE WITH SPOUSE?

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:35:43 PM)
THAT ONE IS OK

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:00 PM)
YOU HAVE TO ASK WHY YOU DONT FELL ANYMORE/

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:07 PM)
LET'S TALK OFF LINE

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:10 PM)
CUZ I LOVE HIM AND ALWAYS TOUCH HIS HAND HE TOUCHES MINE WHILE WE WATCH TV ETC

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:13 PM)
SORRY

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:16 PM)
I KEEP INTERRUPTING

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:25 PM)
THIS IS DEPRESSING

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:31 PM)
WHAT???

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:35 PM)
(((((((Chatter  4  )))))))

Chatter  11  (Jun 19, 2008 7:36:36 PM)
HUBBY AND I ARE VERY EMOTIONAL WITH EACH OTHER

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:37:05 PM)
Chatter  4  E: A BIT BUT ITS GOOD TO KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO BE WORKED ON. I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ANY LEVEL ON INTIMACY

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:37:09 PM)
Chatter  4  WHATS WRONG?

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:37:13 PM)
IM MORE THE EMOTIONAL ONE BUT HE WILL TUNE INTO IT AND HAS GOTTEN ALOT BETTER WHEN I GET MAD HE REALIZES IT ISNT ALWAYS THE THING IM MAD ABOUT DOING IT

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:37:29 PM)
NO NO LEN..NOTHING U R SAYING IS NOT NEEDED TO BE SAID

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:37:41 PM)
OK

Chatyter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:37:43 PM)
I JUST APOLOGIZE FOR BEING OPPOSITE

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:37:47 PM)
YOUR THE BEST

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:38:11 PM)
LET'S MOVE ON TO SPIRITUAL INTIMACY.

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:38:20 PM)
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING THRU MY HUBS MIND. HE DOESN'T SHARE IT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:38:29 PM)
SPIRITUAL INTIMACY. OFTEN THE LEAST EXCAVATED OF ALL THE FOUNDATIONS OF MARITAL INTIMACY, YET THIS HAS A SIGNIFICANT IMPACT ON THE OTHERS. IT DOESN'T REQUIRE

AGREEMENT OF BELIEF ON EVERY DETAIL. INSTEAD, WE SEEK TO TELL EACH OTHER WHAT'S GOING ON IN OUR INNER SELF. IT'S DISCUSSING OUR THOUGHTS ABOUT SPIRITUA

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:38:29 PM)
THAT I GET WITH MY FRIENDS FROM CHURCH AND ONLINE

txdebbienew2ms (Jun 19, 2008 7:39:00 PM)
LIKE...HOW WE FEEL ABOUT LIFE AFTER DEATH ETC?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:39:13 PM)
REALITIES. THE PURPOSE ISN'T AGREEMENT, BUT UNDERSTANDING.

Chatter  3  (Jun 19, 2008 7:39:19 PM)
Without our church friends, don't know how we would have made it thru this

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:39:39 PM)
THIS SEEMS REAL DEEP. DO YOU NEED TO BRING SPIRITUAL INITMACY INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP EVERYDAY?

Chatter 4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:40:08 PM)
SON AND I HAVE DEEP SPIRITUAL CONVERSATIONS AT SUPPER

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:40:16 PM)
AGAIN, I'M NOT SUPPORTING A SPECIFIC BELIFE ONLY IN REALIZING THAT RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPIRITUAL BECAUSE IT INVOLVES MORE THAN ONE AND OFTEN DIFFERING THOUGHTS.

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:40:24 PM)
YUP WE ARE FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIONS BUT WE ARE VERY OPEN ABOUT EACH OTHERS FEELINGS ON THAT AND YES WE HAVE WONDERFUL CHURCH FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH HAVENT BEEN

IN A LONG LONG TIME

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:40:31 PM)
THAT'S ONE THING I COULD NEVER GET MY EX BF TO TALK ABOUT, HE'D LISTEN TO ME WHEN I WOULD TALK ABOUT MY BELIEFS, BUT ANYTIME I'D ASK HIM ANYTHING ABOUT HIS

BELIEFS HE'D JOKING SAY "I'M SATAN" AND CHANGE THE SUBJECT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:40:56 PM)
 Chatter  7  YOU DO NOT NEED TO BRING THIS IN EVERYDAY, IT'S ALREADY THERE BECASUE YOU ARE ONE WITH EACH OTHER.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:40:57 PM)
Chatter  2  ..THAT CAN BE A MAJOR TIEBREAKER IN STAYING CONNECTED

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:41:03 PM)
WE BOTH HAVE BASICALLY THE SAME BELIEFS WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT. AND ARE ABLE TO HONOR EACH OTHERS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:41:17 PM)
GREAT LADIES

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:41:57 PM)
OK LADIES, HERE IS THE MOST COMMON OF ALL THE LEVELS OF INTIMACY. PHYSICAL INTIMACY

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:07 PM)
PHYSICAL INTIMACY. BECAUSE MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT (LONG LIVE THEIR DIFFERENCES!), WE OFTEN COME AT SEXUAL INTIMACY IN DIFFERENT WAYS. THE HUSBAND'S

EMPHASIS IS OFTEN ON THE PHYSICAL ASPECTS—THE SEEING, TOUCHING, AND CLIMAX ARE THE FOCUS OF HIS ATTENTION. THE WIFE, THOUGH, COMES TO SEXUAL INTIMACY WITH MORE

INTEREST IN THE RELATIONSHIP. TO FEEL LOVED, APPRECIATED, AND TREATED TENDERLY BRINGS HER GREAT JOY. SEXUAL INTIMACY REQUIRES UNDERSTANDING AND RESPONDING TO

THESE DIFFERENCES

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:08 PM)
AND HE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT HE FELT ABOUT MY BELIEFS EITHER

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:11 PM)
UR A MAN..WHY DID U NOT START WITH THAT FIRST?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:25 PM)
SAVE THE BEST I GUESS FOR LAST.

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:30 PM)
LOL

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:32 PM)
YIPPEE!!

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:45 PM)
ONE MORE TIME HERE IT IS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:49 PM)
PHYSICAL INTIMACY. BECAUSE MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT (LONG LIVE THEIR DIFFERENCES!), WE OFTEN COME AT SEXUAL INTIMACY IN DIFFERENT WAYS. THE HUSBAND'S

EMPHASIS IS OFTEN ON THE PHYSICAL ASPECTS—THE SEEING, TOUCHING, AND CLIMAX ARE THE FOCUS OF HIS ATTENTION. THE WIFE, THOUGH, COMES TO SEXUAL INTIMACY WITH MORE

INTEREST IN THE RELATIONSHIP. TO FEEL LOVED, APPRECIATED, AND TREATED TENDERLY BRINGS HER GREAT JOY. SEXUAL INTIMACY REQUIRES UNDERSTANDING AND RESPONDING TO

THESE DIFFERENCES

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:42:59 PM)
I FIND THE MORE MALE PHYSICAL INTIMACY I GIVE HIM, THE MORE HE GIVES ME IN OTHER INTIMACIES

Chatter 12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:01 PM)
THIS IS WHERE WE HAVE THE ISSUES

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:13 PM)
GOOD POINT Chatter  9 

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:22 PM)
CARE TO SHARE Chatter 12  ?

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:27 PM)
EVEN THOUGH I MAY NOT WANT TO, IT TRULY WORKS. HAVE SEX, GET A CLEAN HOUSE....ETC.

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:36 PM)
RIGHT Chatter  9 

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:39 PM)
OR A NEW HOUES LOL

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:43 PM)
I GUESS I AM VERY LUCKY...MY HUSBAND IS VERY GIVING AND LOVING AND MAKES SURE I FEEL LOVED AND APPRECIATED

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:50 PM)
OK..I HAVE BEEN PROBED BY 7 DR IN LAST YEAR..HAD EVERY TEST THERE IS....HAD IV STEROIDS THAT BRUISED MY ARMS...HAD HIM ABANDON ME IN CCU....OHH YEA...SEX SOUNDS GREAT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:52 PM)
GREAT Chatter  11 

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:53 PM)
YUP AND IT MAKES YA FEEL... LIKE A HOOKA

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:43:57 PM)
THIS IS WERE MY ISSUES AROSE FROM. WE WERE GREAT WHEN THERE WAS PHYSICAL INTIMACY. I LOST THE DESIRE AND HE BECAME A BUTT

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:17 PM)
AIS..MEN THINK ITS THEM..THEY DONT HAVE THE MAGIC TOUCH...SHHHH

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:25 PM)
LADIES, YOU ALL KNOW WITH MS ACTUAL PHYSICAL INTIMACY CAN BE CHALLENGING

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:32 PM)
OH YEAH Chatter  7  , THAT WAS THE BIGGEST THING WITH ME AND MY EX BF

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:37 PM)
LOTS OF THINGS IMPACT THAT AREA OF OUR LIVES

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:45 PM)
MINE IS AWESOME ON MOST THINGS, THIS HE JUST TOTALLY BLOWS

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:53 PM)
NO PUN INTENDED

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:54 PM)
I FOUND WHEN I MADE SURE HIS NEEDS WERE MET...HE KNOWS I'M ALWAYS TRYING THE BEST I CAN

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:56 PM)
HUBBY MED IS NOW EFFECTING THAT AREA LOL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:57 PM)
MEDICATIONS, MOODS, FATIGUE

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:44:59 PM)
ETC.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:45:27 PM)
I HAVE TO MARK MY CALENDAR SO I REALISE OHHH ITS BEEN THAT LONG HUH....

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:45:32 PM)
OR RELATIONSHIPS...IF IT AINT RIGHT IN LIVING ROOM..IT AINT RIGHT IN BEDROOM..AND VICE VERSA ...SAYS MY GRANDMA

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:45:37 PM)
AND THERE ARE REAL DIF BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN WHO ARE DX WITH MS AND HOW IT IMPACTS SEXUALITY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:45:51 PM)
GRANDMA RIGHT

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:45:52 PM)
SO MANY THINGS EFFECT THE PHYSICAL INTIMACY AND IT SEEMS ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT FOR A LOT OF MEN. BAH

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:45:54 PM)
:)

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:46:05 PM)
YES LEN...FATIGUE IMPACTED RELATIONS

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:46:07 PM)
SO HOW DO YOU GET THEM TO UNDERSTAND, LEN?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:46:24 PM)
LADIES THAT'S WHY ITS IMPORTANT TO HAVE OPEN HONEST DIALOGUE ON THE SUBJ.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:46:25 PM)
WELL I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH ME WHEN THAT PART WENT CUZ SORRY BUT I WAS A MINX BEFORE THAT AND SO NOW HE FREAKS AND GOES THROUGH MY EMAIL AND

STUFF CUZ IM NOT ALL OVER HIM ANYMORE

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:46:32 PM)
I WASN'T DX'D YET, HAD A NEW JOB THAT WAS REALLY STRESSING ME OUT, SUFFEREING HORRIBLY FROM FATIGUE AND EVERY FRI. EVENING WHEN I WAS SO EXHAUSTED I COULD

BARELY CRAWL UPSTAIRS TO BED HE WAS HAULING ME OFF TO MOVIE ALL EVENING, THEN WOULDN'T LET ME SLEEP TILL AFTER WE HAD SEX WHICH HE WASN'T READY FOR UNTIL

AROUND MIDNIGHT AND I HAD BEEN UP SINCE 4AM DUE TO WORK

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:46:59 PM)
AS WE WIND TONIGHT UP LET ME OFFER A FEW THOUGHTS ON PRACTICING INTIMACY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:47:08 PM)
PRACTICING INTIMACY AN ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT OF INTIMACY IS ALLOWING YOUR SPOUSE TO BE HIMSELF WITHOUT STRIVING TO CONFORM HIM TO YOUR IDEALS. IN INTIMACY, WE

TRY TO GROW CLOSER TOGETHER, NOT TO ELIMINATE THE "OTHERNESS," BUT TO ENJOY IT. MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT AND WE MUST NOT, EVEN WITH GOOD INTENTIONS, SEEK

TO DESTROY THOSE DIFFERENCES.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:47:10 PM)
OK LEN..WHAT IF UR HUBBY ASKS U IF U THINK HE IS SEXY...AND U FIND NOTHING SEXY ABOUT HIM ANYMORE...DO U LIE?

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:47:23 PM)
Chatter  2   THAT SCENERIO IS LAME.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:47:29 PM)
YES, LIE

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:47:40 PM)
REMEMBER WHAT HE USE TO BE, NOT WHAT HE IS TODAY.

Chatter  11  (Jun 19, 2008 7:47:55 PM)
EXACTLY LEN ....HUBBY DOES THIS TO ME ALL THE TIME AND I SO APPRECIATE IT

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:48:23 PM)
< Chatter  2  (Jun 19, 2008 7:48:28 PM)
YEAH TELL ME ABOUT IT, AND THEN WHEN I'D BE COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING TOO TIRED, HE'D BE ACCUSING ME OF NOT FINDING HIM ATTRACTIVE ANYMORE AND NOT WANTING TO

BE WITH HIM ANYMORE AND JUST USING BEING TIRED AS AN EXCUSE

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:48:36 PM)
HE ISNT THE PROBLEM ON THAT PART THAT PART IS ME

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:48:41 PM)
IT'S NO LONGER THE OUTSIDE I SEE IN HUBBY - IT'S ALL HIS KINDESS AND LOVING WAYS I SEE FIRST

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:48:53 PM)
WE ARE ALWAYS CHANGING SO WE WILL NEVER LOOK AS HOT AS WE DID WHEN WE WERE 20, BUT IF WE LOOK THROUGH OUR EYES OF LOVE WE'LL SEE WHO WE MARRIED FIRST AND NOT

THE CHUUBY OR FLABBY PERSON WE MAY BE TODAY.

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:48:55 PM)
..I SEE NO KINDNESS...

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:49:08 PM)
WHAT KEEPS US FROM EXPERIENCING INTIMACY? ALL OF US ARE EGOCENTRIC; THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND US. YET, WHEN WE FOCUS ON SELF, WE LOSE INTIMACY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:49:28 PM)
THE OPPOSITE OF SELF-CENTEREDNESS, THEN, IS LOVE. LOVE CONCENTRATES ON THE WELL-BEING OF THE SPOUSE. WE TAKE TIME TO LISTEN TO THE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, AND

DESIRES OF OUR SPOUSE. WE SEEK TO UNDERSTAND AND TO RESPOND WITH EMPATHY. WE CHOOSE TO DO THINGS WITH EACH OTHER, EVEN THINGS THAT MAY NOT BE OUR FAVORITE

ACTIVITIES, SIMPLY BECAUSE WE WANT TO BE WITH EACH OTHER.

Chatter  8   (Jun 19, 2008 7:49:31 PM)
DEEP

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:49:40 PM)
IN THE CONTEXT OF SUCH INTIMACY WE BECOME SUPPORTIVE AND CARING OF EACH OTHER, WHICH BUILDS A STRONGER, MORE CONTENTED MARRIAGE

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:49:46 PM)
YES ITS DEEP BUT TRU

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:49:53 PM)
I FOCUS ON HUBBY....AND HE FOCUSES ON ME...THAT WHY OUR RELATIONSHIP WORKS SO WELL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:01 PM)
OR RELATIONSHIP.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:03 PM)
..AM TRULY HAPPY FOR U

Chatter  8  (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:13 PM)
WE BOTH FOCUSED ON HIM

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:16 PM)
GOOD FOR YOU. THATS ACTUALL THE SECRET.

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:28 PM)
Chatter  8  - I FEEL YA

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:31 PM)
I GUESS I'M JUST SAYING I AGREE WITH WHAT LEN IS SAYING...I'M NOT BRAGGING...JUST AGREEING

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:44 PM)
I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE FOUND TONIGHT ENGAGING.

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:52 PM)
THANK YOU LEN

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:50:55 PM)
I AGREE TOO...I AM JUST AYING..I DONT HAVE THOSE FEELINGS ANYMORE CUZ OF ALL THE STUFF HE PULLS

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:12 PM)
AGAIN WE CAN TALK OFFLINE.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:18 PM)
INFO@ALWMS.ORG

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:19 PM)
ARE THESE TRANSCRIPTS IN A WORD DOCUMENT. I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE THESE DEFINITIONS TO MY HUBS

Chatter 6  (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:22 PM)
THANK YOU LEN

Chatter  2  (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:26 PM)
GREAT INFO LEN THANK YOU

txdebbienew2ms (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:29 PM)
I THINK ITS GOOD TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT INTIMACY

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:32 PM)
YES THERE ARE CAPTURED IN WD DOC.

Chatter  9   (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:36 PM)
TY LEN

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:42 PM)
I MEAN I AM KINDA GLAD IT WAS MOSTLY WOMEN

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:42 PM)
THANKS LEN. GREAT INFO. MIND OPENING

Chatter  8  (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:49 PM)
THX LEN

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:51:51 PM)
LADIES I WANT TO PERSONALLY THANK EACH OF YOU FOR YOUR ACTIVE PARTICIPATION IN TONIGHTS WEBCHAT. YOUR CONTRIBUTION HAS BEEN IMMEASURABLE.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:52:04 PM)
LADIES WE ONLY COVERED FIVE AREAS OF INTIMACY.

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:52:11 PM)

LEN Chatter  11   IS GOING TO GET THAT INFO AND SEND IT TO ME IF THAT IS OK

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:52:18 PM)
ARE THERE MORE?

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:52:23 PM)
AND YEAH IT WAS LOSS OF INTIMACY ON ALL LEVELS THAT WAS INVOLVED IN MY EX AND I BREAKING UP

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:52:37 PM)
I WOULD LIKE TO GET NYOU THE OTHER 7. SEND ME AN EMAIL REQUESTING THAT INFO. PUT IN SUBJ LINE INTIMACY

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:52:46 PM)
THATS WHAT I AM AFRAID OF Chatter  2 

Chatter  11   (Jun 19, 2008 7:52:58 PM)
I WILL LEN THANK YOU - NANCY I'LL PASS THAT ON TOO

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:10 PM)
I HOPE YOU AND HUBBY CAN WORK THINGS OUT Chatter  7 

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:14 PM)
I DIDNT WANT YOU TO THINK I WASNT INTERESTED IN THE TOPIC I JUST WOULD RATHER DO IT THAT WAY TO SPARE HIM FROM HAVING A CORONARY WHEN HE SNOOPS ON MY PUTER

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:14 PM)
LADIES NOT SURE YOU KNEW BUT WE FACILITATE LIVE WORKSHOPS ALSO.

Chatter  4  (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:22 PM)
LEN...IS THERE EVER INCOMPATIBILITY INVOLVED?

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:26 PM)
GOT IT.

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:31 PM)
AT LEAST YOU HAVE DX NOW, IF HE GETS PAST THE DENIAL THAT WILL HELP A LOT

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:36 PM)
SINCE OUR NEXT CHAT IS SCHEDULED THE DAY BEFORE A NATIONAL HOLIDAY JULY 4TH, WE WILL BE HOSTING THE NEXT ONLINE MEETING ON JULY 10TH AT 7:00PM EST. WHEN WE MEET

NEXT TIME WE’LL TALK ABOUT “THE SEVEN BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION” TILL THEN, HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:53:42 PM)
PLEASE READ

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:00 PM)
THANK YOU LEN THAT WAS AWESEOME

Chatter  7   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:04 PM)
Chatter  2   IM HOPING THIS INFO WILL HELP ME UNDERSTAND HIM. PLUS I'LL PICK UP THAT MARS/VENUS BOOK

Chatter  6  (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:06 PM)
THANK YOU, YOU TOO~

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:10 PM)
GOODNIGHT.

Chatter  6   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:14 PM)
NIGHT!

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:15 PM)
GOODNITE LEN

Chatter  2   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:18 PM)
ONCE I WAS DX'D AND MY EX FOUND OUT THAT I WASN'T LYING TO HIM ABOUT BEING TIRED AND NOT FEELING GOOD, HE WAS SO APOLOGETIC, DOWN GROVELING ON HIS KNEES

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:21 PM)
NOW I AM DEPRESSED

Chatter  7  (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:30 PM)
night len

Chatter  12  (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:33 PM)
Chatter  2   THAT WAS KINDA WHAT WE WENT  THROUGH

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:34 PM)
DON'T BE DEPRESSED.

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:40 PM)
YOU'RE GOING TO BE OK.

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:41 PM)
(Chatter  4  )) ITS OK

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:43 PM)
OOPS I THOUGHT U LEFT

Chatter  12   (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:47 PM)
LOL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:54:51 PM)
REMEMBER YOU CANNOT BE PITIFUL AND POWERFUL AT THE SAME TIME.

Chatter  4   (Jun 19, 2008 7:55:04 PM)
LADIES..I AM FAILURE....I FAILED ALL SEVEN AREAS...FOR REAL

LenNMSS (Jun 19, 2008 7:55:05 PM)
SEE YOU NEXT TIME.