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I remember when I was told I had MS back in 1990. I felt like my whole world was crashing in on me. At the time, Betaseron was the only drug available. The thought of shots was terrifying. How was I going to do this? I knew something was wrong when I lost the sight in my left eye, but never did I dream it was MS. I have always been nervous, so I thought it had something to do with my nerves.
My Daughter was 14 at the time and she was just plain scared. She was always wanting to go to the library to read up on this illness. My Husband was in denial.
We owned an auto and boat repair shop. I would go for parts and do the books. For the next 3 weeks, I could do neither. I felt helpless. I was mad all the time, which is unlike me. I couldn't understand how I got this. There were no answers. I was tired all the time and started taking naps, another thing I never did. I was always happy-go-lucky and had a high energy level. All that was gone.
Just when I thought my life couldn't get worse, in 1992 my Husband had a freak accident. He fell in the bathroom, hitting his head on a brass towel rack. I rushed him to the hospital. He required 33 stitches to his face. They wanted to keep him overnight and run tests and x-rays since he hit his head. My Daughter and I stayed at the hospital until 11:00 that night. Making sure he had his room and something to eat.
The next morning I was on my way out at 7:00 am, to go to the hospital when the phone rang. I was told my Husband had slipped into a coma. How could this have happened? When I got to the hospital they wanted to do surgery, due to the tests that came back. I had to sign for them to do brain surgery in hopes of him coming out of the coma.
When he finally came out of surgery, half his head was shaved and tubes were coming out of his scalp. In fact, tubes were everywhere. He was still in a coma. I slept at the hospital so I could be near him. My Parents came to my house to watch my Daughter. After a few days I was told he was brain dead. The brain stem had moved front the left side all the way to the right side.
I refused to take him off of life support.
After 8 days I had to make the worst decision of my life. He was never going to come out of the coma and it was up to me to take him off of life support. A nurse asked if I would be interested in having him become a donor. My Husband and I had talked about this subject before and agreed we would be donors. It was close to Christmas and since we weren't going to have a Merry Christmas, why shouldn't someone else have one.
My Husband was only 45 at the time. So, there I was making this difficult decision when I was only 40 years old. As soon as he was taken off of life support, he was gone. He didn't even last a second. I wiped the tears from my eyes with his hand and told him to take them with him to Heaven.
Our Daughter was devastated. She was his little Princess and now he was gone. We never even got the chance to say good-bye. I felt so empty. Looking into my Daughter's eyes tore me apart. She just held on to him, crying.
Please, anyone reading this story, be close to your loved ones. You never know if that will be the last time you see them.
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